


It's just that

by cuneifire



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: 21st Century, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Genderbending, Hockey, Olympics, UST
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-28
Updated: 2018-02-28
Packaged: 2019-03-25 00:15:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13822449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cuneifire/pseuds/cuneifire
Summary: For the first time in years, Canada loses in hockey to America. America can't help but try and comfort her.





	It's just that

Canada doesn’t say anything as she stares at the screen, lips pressed together in a tight line.

                “Oh.” She says quietly, biting her lip as she looks onto America’s bright lit TV in the middle of her apartment, one hand clutching her bear, the other her maple hockey stick.

“We lost.” Maddie says, staring at the ground.

It’s a tradition of theirs at this point, that they always watch the Olympic Games together. America isn’t sure when it started, except that one time Maddie called her up shitfaced drunk and bragging about how great her women’s hockey team was, and from then on America decided to make it her business to be there just to show her up and brag whenever she lost the final match, which was inevitably between their two teams.

          Thing was, Canada hadn’t lost at women’s hockey in the Olympic for twenty years. Twenty years of America enduring Canada’s at first sweet words and occasional victory laughs and thinking, hoping, she might have a chance to beat her team. Five year before she made the mistake of bringing beer and had to deal with a drunk and victorious Canadian swearing in French. Twenty years of waiting, holding her breath with high strung anticipation at every shot, clutching her pillow and pressing her lips together and complaining loudly when Maddie won, although Maddie was never mean when she won, she would just smile happily at America, and then America would laugh with her and plot how she would win the next game .

Ten years of planning and talking to and even getting to meet her team, and she’d finally won!

          But sitting here, next to Maddie, seeing her look at the TV like she’s lost something other than a hockey game, America felt her fingers twitch, mouth parting and about to gloat but not being able to bring herself to.

Maddie’s shoulders slumped as she stared, looking to her girls accepting their medals.

         “Go USA!” America cheered almost quietly as she watched them give her girls those shiny golden medals, smiling with pride as they got went up to receive them. She smiled too, but her gaze was stuck on Maddie, who was hiding her face behind her hair and rubbing the fabric of her jersey like she wanted to take it off, shivering a bit. America wanted to lean over to wrap her arms around her, but something in America thought that Maddie wouldn’t like it, that maybe she’s get upset, that maybe-

Aw fuck it, she decided, leaning over and sliding a hand over Canada’s, locking their fingers together and smiling at her. Maddie didn’t meet her gaze.

        “Congratulations, America. I think it’s really great that you finally got to win.” She says, with a glassy eyed gaze to the floor below America’s bed, and the worst part is she doesn’t even sound bitter, she just sounds sad, and disappointed, and like she’s given up and- other stuff Canada shouldn’t feel.

“Hey.” America says, leaning over to unlace their fingers (her hand was kind of sweaty) and sling an arm over Maddie’s shoulders. “It’s just hockey, okay? I mean- it’s not like it matters all that much or anything.” And sure, maybe she’s not exactly telling the truth, but it’s for a good cause, right? The look in Maddie’s eyes isn’t really _right,_ it’s not the look she should have, she shouldn’t be happy, sure, but even America didn’t ever get this miserable and she’d lost for twenty years in a row and-

         “Why do you care so much about hockey anyways?

The question sort of slips out before she can think about it, and she immediately regrets it. For some reason Maddie has this thing about hockey, kind of like England has a thing about tea and Australia about vegemite and France about 1940-

         Canada turns at her words to meet her gaze, brows furrowing and lips turning down in a bit-back frown, before shoving America down with her hockey stick, pinning her to the bed, staring at her as if the answer is very, very obvious.

She stares for a brief second at America, hands on top of the hockey stick that’s in turns pressing into America’s shoulders at a harsh angle. Her eyes blaze with sadness and pride as America stares up at her, titling her head in exasperated confusion and concern, because it keeps coming back to her that Maddie’s not supposed to be sad like that, Maddie is supposed to be quiet and sweet and innocent even if America has to keep the rest of the world off her herself.

       “Because it’s hockey, damn it!” Maddie’s voice interrupts her thoughts, grasping America by the shoulders, fingers digging into America’s shoulders with a surprisingly sudden anger and a sheen in her eyes. “It’s my sport, it’s _my_ goddamn game, it’s basically the only thing I’m better than you at-“

Canada cuts herself off there, slapping a hand over her mouth and staring at America, wide-eyes with almost, -is that- _fear?_

       America doesn’t say anything to that. She can’t, she won’t, the only thing she can do is stare, let the words hang in the air like a string of broken Christmas lights, cold and useless.

Maddie blinks, then breaths in and exhales very, very slowly. She’s close now; so close America can see the bits of purple in her blue eyes, count her long lashes, see the smudges in her pink lipstick and the way her lips are trembling.

                “You really don’t get it?” She whispers in an almost broken way, and fuck, the hockey stick’s really starting to hurt America’s shoulders.

“Maddie, how much have you had to drin-“ America’s starting to wonder if her Maddie’s okay. Maybe she’d replaced her beer with vodka? Or maybe there’d been aliens that poisoned her with ghost venom-

                Maddie cuts her off but putting a hand over her mouth, finally taking her hand off that damned hockey stick and dropping so that her head is buried into America’s side, her knees digging into the mattress near America’s. She pulls out the hockey stick, tossing it to hit something (America winces as she hears a crack) pulling herself up right against America, mouth pressed into her bright USA hockey jersey, probably staining it with her pretty pink lipstick.

“Mmph- Maddie mmph you-“ Canada finally takes her hand off America’s mouth, wiping it on her shirt before resting it against the bed, fisting her nails in America’s hair. America winces, tilting her head towards Maddie and hearing her rough breath. Reaching out a hand, she tentatively rests it on Maddie’s back. Maddie trembles, but doesn’t move her hand.

                “You’re-“ She chokes up for a second, but keeps going. “You’re always so much better than me, everyone likes you and everyone fucking _notices_ you, you’re so much more _important,_ I mean goddammit, not one ever even remembers my damned named, and then I get this one chance to actually be better than you, be better than my sister who’s actually younger than me but never gets treated like it, I- can you blame me for _trying?_ I just- I don’t like beating you- you’re not that bad- okay, well, sometimes you’re selfish and sometimes you’re ignorant and sometimes you treat me like some sort of ghost-“

America opens her mouth to protest, because she doesn’t see Maddie like that, because Maddie never seems to know how important she is to America, how sometimes America feels like she’s missing something when Maddie isn’t there at her side, but Maddie shushes her, pressing a warm finger to her lips and leaving it there. She feels Maddie sigh against her, shaking her head before she pushes off the mattress, sitting up on her knees and bracing America’s hips, curving her back just a bit to stare America in the eyes, hair dangling just near her almost purple eyes. Her hands are framed on the mattress, near America’s shoulders again, and America can almost feel them trembling as Maddie blinks, squeezing her eyes shut until they aren’t damp anymore.

               “It’s just that this is the one thing I’m actually _better_ than you at, so I feel like I have to make it matter, and even if it’s really just some stupid game, I just, well-it means a lot to me. Uh-“ She pauses at America’s wide eyed expression, seeming to remember herself as she shyly glances down. “Sorry.”

                America’s lips curve up a bit at that, at Maddie’s cute accent and weird quirks, before taking her hand and grinning.

“You shouldn’t think that, you know. I mean I’m awesome and all, and my trade agreements definitely make yours look like small fish,-“ Maddie glares discreetly at her, wiping those tears that America doesn’t know how to handle out of her eyes, and America raises a finger to her lips, trying to quirk an eyebrow but probably failing, despite Maddie not laughing at her. “-But you’re wrong on one point.”

                Although she isn’t looking at her, America can see Canada’s lips part in protest. “Shh. I’m trying to have a heart-to-heart here, okay? Don’t ruin this for me. The thing ‘bout other countries liking me, is that they _need_ to like me, because of my economy and all. See? I had a point with that!” She says when Maddie looks away to stare at the window instead of her, frowning softly.

                America frowns, yanking her hands until Canada has to stare at her, meet her eyes and _see,_ see what America’s trying to say but can’t spit out, that Madie’s sweet, and smarter than she lets on, and that America kind of lov-

“But with you? People like you because you’re _you,_ not because you’re a good trade partner and secretly no one can stand you. You don’t have to worry about people lying about liking you, because they like you anyways.” Maddie looks confused at that, but America persists. “They like you because you’re shy and a lot smarter than you let on, and because you make the best pancakes in existence-“ Maddie blushes, looking away again. “They’re not that great.” She mumbles, and America rolls her eyes tugging on her hand. “-And because you’re modest. Seriously, your pancakes are the best, dude.”

                “Oh. Uh, thanks.” She pauses again, seeming to remember something, god if America knows what. “What time is it?”

“Dammit, Maddie, did you not hear any of that?” America checks her watch. “Eleven fifteen, if you must know.”

                “I was listening. I just don’t like to go to bed late.” She yawns, stretching out to lie beside America “-Can I stay for the night?”

America looks at her quizzically, trying to keep her eyes on Maddie’s face and not her maple t-shirt, or the way she’s kind of laying on top of her right now, the way her hands are almost at America’s chest. “Dude, I always let you stay the night.”

                “Yeah it’s just that I-“ And maybe it’s the lighting but America can swear she sees Canada’s cheeks heat up as she presses her face into the pillow near America’s head, mumbling a soft “Never mind.” and curling up on herself. “I’m going to sleep.” She says, pulling away a bit, just far enough that they don’t touch but America can still feel the warmth coming off her.

“Sorry I was so emotional about this stuff. I didn’t mean to upset you. I know you, uh, care about this type of stuff too, eh?” Canada says faintly, with another barely intelligible mumble into her pillow, turning onto her back to gaze up at America, despite having said she was going to sleep.

               America grins to herself at that, leaning back against her superhero print bed sheets and brushing the hair out of Maddie’s face, fingers just skimming her lips.

“’Tis fine. I like you more than hockey anyways.”

**Author's Note:**

> Notes  
> -The Pyongyang Women’s Hockey finals finished at 11:10 on the 23rd of February 2018. The game was between the American and Canadian teams, with the Americans winning with a score of 3-2.  
> -Since the 2002 winter Olympics, Canada had held the gold in women’s hockey, with the finals always being against the US. (Although the US has frequently beaten Canada in the World Championships)  
> (Calling them 'Historical notes' feels a bit early)


End file.
